Customer Reviews
THE CARTOONS ARE AS GOOD AS THE TEXT!
As the author of Girltalk and other books for girls and teens, I try to stay up-to-date on current advice books, and I just want to go on record saying that this classic is wonderful. In fact, even a parent who doesn't want to read the book can look at the pictures and learn a lot in a hurry.
Good book, geared towards parents of older, more verbal kids
I would have given this book three and a half stars if possible, it's been a great addition to my collection. My only complaint is that the techniques in this book seem much more appropriate for slightly older children, probably those seven and above. The general premise is that children can be disciplined more effectively when they are shown respect, when your feelings/their feelings are taken into account, and when they are encouraged to develop autonomy and problem-solve for themselves.
The suggestions in the book seem great for older kids in terms of developing independence, learning to take responsibility, experiencing logical consequences for their actions, etc. For very small children, it seems like some of the advice on giving the child more information and talking about your feelings would make things unnecessarily vague. This also seems true about the author's objection to using punishment. Natural consequences and talking things out seem like a better alternatives for older children who can better rationalize and understand the logical consequences of their actions. The use of prevention paired with immediate, brief consequences for true misbehavior seems like the more developmentally appropriate choice for tiny children who can get lost with a lot of explaination and may not be able to extrapolate your meaning when things aren't stated directly. There are also a lot of good strategies for small children (use of routine, visual schedules for transitions, etc.) that aren't touched on here. A lot of the advice on active listening, positive reinforcement, etc., does apply to small children, though. Overall, highly recommended for kids seven and up, recommended as a compliment to additional reading for younger children.
Manages to be both idealistic and practical in its advice
This book offers practical advice based on the premise that all people, including children, are basically reasonable and that they respond well to empathy. More than a touchy-feely notion, the authors advise, coach, provide scenarios, and so forth, based on this premise. I can tell you from my own experience that trying some of their approaches yields instant payoffs. More importantly, the communication skills it advocates create the foundation for a more meaningful relationship, and gives you simple tools to gradually encourage their self-determination and freedom as they mature.
I recommend reading this book one chapter at a time. After each chapter, put the book down and practice the skills until you "get it." If you are not much of a reader, just read the comic strips.
This is the most useful book on raising children that I have read so far. Really it is about cultivating adults.
